Well, well, well. Here we are, just hours away from the big moment, when our former FBI director Mr. James Comey goes on the stand before Congress to spill his guts in what will certainly be the biggest post-termination grudge ever seen. This little Valkyrie was too pumped up to sleep, so do excuse the typos and missing links for a few hours, if you will. But honestly, DC. Don’t you realize the rest of America is behind you? If I start day-drinking this early I’ll be snoozing by noon.
Kidding aside, it is best not to get our hopes up too far. Comey’s statement yesterday likely had most of the pertinent information, and because he’ll be testifying on topics regarding an open investigation, I would expect a lot of “I can’t comment on that”s throughout. Still, the preliminary statement was pretty juicy on its own, and I do think there is one aspect of this that isn’t getting the proper attention, and that’s the fact that Comey has adamantly insisted on testifying publicly.
Now to me, that sends a very powerful message, in that he doesn’t trust that his testimony will be conveyed to the public accurately. In other words, the Republicans standing by Trump are a bunch of fat, stinky liars who will lie their fat, stinky little faces off if it means getting their way. And the FBI is aware of it. Keep in mind that the Feds has been investigating, specifically, the use of propaganda and cyberwarfare techniques in media manipulation. They’ve been careful to skirt around any word of collusion yet, and rightly so – as Comey states, the investigation is not complete, and they wouldn’t want to publicly make statements that they’d later have to correct because it would reflect badly upon them.
The way I interpret his remarks are like this. The Russians absolutely interfered in our election from their end – of that, the FBI has no doubt, and have stated so publicly. What they’re investigating is whether or not the Russians took advantage of unsuspecting members of Congress/the WH, or if there was legitimate collusion between both sides. It doesn’t sound to me like they have anything on Trump himself, and that may well be the case. Trump seems generally oblivious to the goings-on of his staff on good days, so I wouldn’t be shocked if his people ran this sort of thing under his nose. Besides, even if Trump orchestrated the entire thing, unless there is audio/video evidence it will be near-impossible to prove. People in power tend to have a waiting list of available fall-guys, and excuse my cynicism, but I just don’t see it happening the way most would like to see it happen.
Now then. What’s got Comey all hot and bothered is Trump’s behavior, of course. Regardless of what Trump has or hasn’t done, he’s acting like the proverbial kid with his tiny mitts in the cookie jar. I don’t want to jump to conclusions myself, but I can only see two scenarios here:
- Trump is guilty as hell, and like an idiot isn’t even pretending otherwise, or,
- Trump is not guilty, and like an idiot he thinks that what he’s doing now is helping
Any way you slice it, the guy is a freaking moron. He contradicts his own staffs’ statements, he tweets nonsense non-stop, he appears to be obstructing justice … there is no end to the buffoonery, and his staff appears powerless to intercept any of it. This – this – is what you should be paying attention to, beyond all else. Ease off the impeachment talk, don’t say “for sure” he colluded with Russia – look to this, his utter, rampant incompetence at handling something as trivial as bad press. This by itself is worrisome, in the way that hearing a click in a minefield is worrisome.
That’s where Comey’s mind is right now, I think. He’s not sure if Trump is actually guilty of using a foreign enemy to cheat the election, or if the Narcissist-in-Chief is so obsessed with the public’s adoration that he’s willing to upend an entire government agency just to get some negative press off his back. Either one of these things is massive, and if it turns out to be both I might just have an aneurysm before I can enjoy the resulting Leftie celebrations.
As for Comey, the propaganda machine has already begun chugging away, as an attack ad – an attack ad for a civilian, not a politician mind you – has begun running on TV in advance of his testimony. This absolutely blows my mind, and should give you a hard look at the political world we now inhabit. Even if Comey was dirty, even if he was in the pocket of the Dems let’s say, the proper route would be to launch a separate investigation, by a separate agency – the IC has its own checks and balances, after all. But we’ve got a Republican think tank smearing him in full view of the public, driving a wedge between all of us even further, hoping to fool enough people into remaining on their side. It is absolutely astounding, the amount of irresponsibility at play here. We’re headed for another civil war (that’s a post for a later date) and these short-sighted idiots are just fanning the flames with every chance they get. There isn’t a day gone by where I don’t find myself returning to this stunned, disgusted stupor at the madness of it all.
So am I just another turncoat libby-lib, cheerleading for Comey now? Yeah, a little bit, I’ll admit it. Minus the turncoat, though. In all honesty, I never took a hard stance against him in the first place. Don’t mistake that to mean that I’m behind the FBI and all that they do. I don’t support most of the tactics our IC uses around the globe in general; there is some gross abuse of power at play there, and these guys tend to act with impunity for the sake of their “investigations” whenever they see fit. As such, many of us Anons have fallen under their hammer when those politics don’t align. You could say that we’re almost natural enemies. However. I’m not going to say that these agencies are without merit, either. Maybe it’s a necessary evil, in a sense. Maybe it’s up to us to be our own watchmen at times. Maybe I should stop waxing comic book and get back to the point.
Point is, I’ve been studying this man a bit over the past weeks, watching his rare appearances in front of the cameras, looking into his history and tenure at the FBI, and trying to get a read on him. When he went public with HRC’s emails the second time and – as it’s now believed – became a patsy for Russian interference himself, he embarrassingly played a role in the outcome of a tainted election. At the time, I was as suspicious as anyone else, though I held off on demanding his firing, or suggesting that he was playing for the Pachyderms. I didn’t know anything about the guy, but it was definitely weird for him to come forward when he did, with no new evidence to show for it. When something smells off, I look for the source. So I went to work digging up what info I could find on him. I won’t bore you with the details, but I dug enough to get a feel for him, at least.
So, just what is ol’ Freyja’s read on Mr. James Comey? I’ll tell you, but first some disclosure. I play around in this spy game a bit myself you see, and not just in the virtual sense. We Valkyries are the girls flitting about the protests and other political demonstrations, keeping an eye on folks there. We’ve got our own profiling techniques and our own network. No, we’re not out to doxx Trump supporters; in general we make it a point not to sink to their level. But we ladies are pretty good at spotting lies, spies, and other bad guys, and our methods have worked well enough that our services are consistently requested at a rate higher than we’re able to manage. We’ve been at this game before in other forms, but the Valkyries have some clout in this New Revolution, and with good reason: because we provide a service that few can, and our results more or less speak for themselves.
But enough ego-stroking. Comey, in my professional opinion, is the ultimate Boy Scout. He plays the straight-man; he’s the detective ordering milk at the bar. He’ll narc you out not because he wants to be a dick, but because he thinks it’s for your own good. If you asked me to draw up the stereotypical “good guy” FBI agent from TV and put him in a freakishly Frankenstein-tall body, it would be James Comey. I’d put money down on him having been a hall monitor or an RA, and I know he’s been the teacher’s pet.
I’m not saying you can trust the guy (or any member of a spy agency). Quite the opposite in fact, as these guys tend to lie whenever it’s necessary to their case. You can trust that he’ll do things by the FBI book, though. Whatever Comey does, he believes it’s the right thing to do by way of his agency’s service to the American people – that, I believe. I haven’t seen anything to suggest that what happened with HRC’s emails was anything but a mistake, and one he appears to genuinely regret. I mean, just look at the anal-retentive way the man writes his memos of the Trump encounters. Or the stiff, robotic prose in which he describes those encounters. This is not a guy familiar with breaking the rules – take it from a seasoned rule-breaker. They say the boring ones are always a freak between the sheets, but I can see a long line of disappointed women with this guy; he’s come full-circle, missed the turn, and achieved peak boring. I guarantee that when he’s not in suits, his t-shirts are always tucked in.
So, while the other side will smear him and have you believe that this is all indeed a grudge against the man who fired him, what I see instead is an act of contrition, in a sense. I see a penitent man, watching the same flaming wreckage in place of our once-functioning government, who is now troubled by the idea that he assisted in setting alight the kindling. Plus, you have to remember that the FBI has had it in for the Russians for decades, and this whole scandal can’t be sitting well over there. The whole thing is a terrible blight on their record, and the Russkies have got to be laughing their red little asses off at all of us for it.
Whatever may come, one fact is undeniable: the whole world is watching us. Russia, after spending the week plastering Putin all over our media, will be glued to his every word, looking for ways to continue spinning the blame away from themselves. Europe, horrified at the class five disaster the largest superpower has just elected to put in charge, who just last week voted to speed up the eventual destruction of the planet; and the American people, most of us jaded over whether or not any of this will matter at all to the new Teflon Don, and contemplating just how much more of this bullshit we’re going to put up with before we start rioting and burning things down. (Hint: it’s already begun.)
So with that, with just — now minutes — before he’s set to testify before our dear leaders of Congress, I’ll leave off with a simple request. Mr, Comey, if you’re listening? Don’t fuck this up. The fate of the world is likely already depending on it.
Posting from the Bunker, Somewhere in Leftlovin’ CA
Pt. II to follow after Comey’s testimony.